This is an incredible and brave testimonial from a very very special lady, about the healing work she has done, to help and reunite her lost Inner Child.

Hi I'm Linda although now days I prefer to be called Lynne,

I was a victim of child abuse, now as an adult I have been fully healed.
I have spent a good few years working on transforming my past. I chose to get help when I could no longer hold it all in my mind, my mind was full and locked.

I, as a child had buried so deep all the hurt and trauma of my life, as each trauma came I would bury it and as each one happened I added it to my box and I placed the box deep in to the back of my mind.

Soon the biggest problem I had was finding it all because I not only locked it away, I lost the key too, little me threw away the key, so she could forget.

To sort this all out I knew I needed help but this was going to be hard I trusted no one. I never have, none of the social workers I had. I could never open up because I was to scared, too frightened to speak, a little girl lost, alone and scared of all the threats.

I had never found the right person so I kept quiet I was silenced by cruel threats that children believe, the words echoed in my head, 'shut up, don't tell or else.'

This was until a event in my life changed things, my husband died suddenly and so I had to lock his memory away too but there was no where to put them my box was not only full but I had lost the key.

It was then I knew I needed help, so a new help came, not a social worker, i had tried that, but a hypnotherapist, a lady called Hazel.

I remember my first session I was of course not sure but it went well and what was strange a voice in my head instead of saying 'shut up' it said 'it's ok Linda you can tell now, it's time to trust.'  and so trust started to come, it took a while and there were times it was so very hard but I stuck with it.

I had to find Linda, the inner me and join her back with Lynne the adult me,
I had separated myself from her, I blamed her in a way.

My inner child was a troubled little girl who suffered abuse she also had to keep it all quiet and not say a word, her secrets were that kept under lock and key her abusers saw to that along with tags she already had, were new ones that said 'be quiet, shut up the bogey men will get you.'

I was bought up in a rough area in a council house on a estate where children were seen and not heard. I was brought up a catholic with strict beliefs, if you were good God would let you in to heaven, if you were bad the devil would take you to hell.

I believed this, my abusers knew I would and would use it to their advantage, saying if I was good my mum in heaven would be pleased, such a cruel thing to say, especially since my mum died when I was five years old.

As an adult I had a my own issues, I hated men, I never trusted any one I had nightmares in my early adult life.  I was withdrawn, I had dreadful flash backs.

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So then with Hazel, I began the search to find little me. My inner me was hiding, blaming herself for it all, feeling quilty and ashamed. She was scared and frightened to speak it would take someone special for her to open up too that was someone special was to be an angel her name was Hazel Mary, in my inner child's mind she had blue wings,  she would coax Linda to speak and in time that's what I did, for the first time I spoke about my abuse it took time and patience, but eventually I told it all and there was a lot to tell. Then finally, inner me was connected to adult me my inner child feels happy and so much more healed and so am I.

When I started the process of finding all that I had locked away it was hard and challenging, but eventually when I realised the importance to join me back with my inner child I had to do it. Hazel is the only person I have ever trusted enough to share what happened to me with.

Now I want to help others who have been abused. Help them to safely unlock the secrets and feel free and whole again.

I had to do it for my little lost girl who could not tell anyone what was happening or ever cry. She was the part of me that needed help the most, she was a child who was trapped in pain. Now we are one, my little inner child and me are the same, she's me and I am Linda, I just prefer being called Lynne.

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Lynne Smith, Bristol